So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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