He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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