he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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