after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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