sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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