I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
