Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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