we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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