I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
