guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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