I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I touched a dick in church today
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
