remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
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can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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