just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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