You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
where does the pee come out of this thing
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
