you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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