You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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