I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My vagina just clenched in fear
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