I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You don't make any sense
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