I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize