Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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