i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
