What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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