That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
