Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
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I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
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Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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