The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
