i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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