Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize