He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
