Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
