Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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