That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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