There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
