Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n

  (559): View more from California

  sry, psychiatrist trumps professor

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  (707): I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n (559): sry, psychiatrist trumps professor http://tfl.nu/qnkf
  Replies (43) Good night (6695) Bad night (1106)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes

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  (903): I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes http://tfl.nu/cr2r
  Replies (54) Good night (2853) Bad night (6110)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is

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  (662): I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is http://tfl.nu/ce5u
  Replies (16) Good night (5265) Bad night (1929)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?

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  (765): Did we both pass out talking about cake last night? http://tfl.nu/lgnr
  Replies (10) Good night (4840) Bad night (975)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious

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  (862): forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious http://tfl.nu/eea3
  Replies (19) Good night (3446) Bad night (971)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.

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  (973): I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation. http://tfl.nu/5xqx
  Replies (7) Good night (928) Bad night (4594)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this

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  (516): I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this http://tfl.nu/xbb7
  Replies (21) Good night (1086) Bad night (4370)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.

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  (251): I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time. http://tfl.nu/fcdx
  Replies (13) Good night (4246) Bad night (955)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them

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  (407): Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them http://tfl.nu/nkku
  Replies (7) Good night (918) Bad night (1797)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!

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  (314): Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo! http://tfl.nu/csd8
  Replies (2) Good night (1507) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.

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  (843): What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts. http://tfl.nu/4ub5
  Replies (16) Good night (2891) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse

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  (734): I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse http://tfl.nu/942u
  Replies (2) Good night (705) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"

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  (503): But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!" http://tfl.nu/pacv
  Replies (0) Good night (922) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.

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  (+44): Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray. http://tfl.nu/2kem
  Replies (6) Good night (486) Bad night (262)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend

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  (402): just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend http://tfl.nu/jyrl
  Replies (3) Good night (932) Bad night (220)

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