One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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