the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
