Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
