My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.