My nipple is on Facebook.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
