I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize