now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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