i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
