I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I checked into jail on foursquare
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
