Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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