I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
