Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
