we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
