I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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