Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
