Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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