Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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