The maid of honor just puked.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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