You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
