the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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