Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
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Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
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And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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