If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
