Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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