I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
