Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
two words...techno handjob
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My bed smells like the plague
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