Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize