Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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