its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
