I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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